Candle Lighting

I've been thinking a lot today about candles. If you've been around this blog lately, you've seen the candle graphic quite a bit--for Subway Serenade and then for Edwin. Candles can mean a different things, but in general I think a lot of people "get" the idea that a candle can represent hope, a "light in the darkness", etc. And it seems like a fairly "safe" image to use with a group as diverse as our blog family, since it is not tied to one faith tradition.

Let me tell you a little about my faith. Kimmy sometimes calls me the "church lady", and, as I may have noted before, that amuses me at least a little. It is true, my faith life is important to me--it's an important part of my "life narrative", I guess you could say. But the truth is, I have way more questions than I have answers. The notion of being on a "spiritual path" somehow resonates with me, but much of the time it feels like I'm wandering in the desert. Yet, every now and then there will be a moment, and experience--a "knowing"--that tells me that I am indeed still on the path.

Now, about prayer. Honestly, I'm not sure I ever quite got the knack. I've tried different kinds of prayer, and from time to time find myself drawn to things like rosaries, labyrinths...prayer involving "props" if you will. Something tangible. Because, what I've discovered about myself is that I'm not good at visualizing. At my Catholic high school, one of the religion classes I took involved prayer using guided imagery. Lovely class, as I recall, but I just couldn't do the imagery part. I've led psychology classes in relaxation/guided imagery classes, and had people describe really being there, on the beach, or in the woods. I'm rather bemused by the idear that, with my voice, I can help lead students to places I haven't experienced myself.

For my whole life, I have always been certain that there is a "something more", and that death isn't the end. But I'm really hazy about the details. So there's this paradox that something is very real to me, and yet I can't see or touch or hear it. Most days, I'm at peace with that, but when I'm going through a rough time, I really want comfort I can see and touch. This blog community is also very real, even though many of us have never met in person. We've developed a real network of caring. Yet when one of us is going through a difficult experience, I'm all the more aware of the inability to physically gather together for support.

Which brings us back to candles. I had seen the virtual candle lighting site before, but was not aware until today that it was possible to light candles in a group. I like that--because it helps me see us gathered together in support.

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