Thursday, April 13, 2006

Goodbye, old gal

by Subway Serenade

Oh, it's enough to be on your way.
It's enough just to cover ground.
It's enough to be movin' on... -James Taylor


Rosalie "Mickey" Oehlmann passed away today at the age of 84. There will be no funeral, or even a mass to celebrate her life, and there will be no obituary in The Staten Island Advance, the paper that was delivered by horse and buggy when she was a child. She married John as World War II loomed on the immediate horizon. Her husband was one of only a handful of men to ace the Military Aptitude Test, and he was set aside to train soldiers going off to Europe. I can assure you that a great many men came home from the war because of his leadership. His wife actually made the train trip to Louisiana, where he was stationed with their infant daughter just so that she could spend two weeks with him on leave. She said by the time she arrived, she was so dirty that he didn't recognize her and initially walked right past her...

When John finally came home, he became the director of youth programs for the Parks Department here in Staten Island. He coached youth hockey teams and taught golf. I declare that many of the kids he coached and taught grew up to be respected professionals. In fact three of them grew up to be his doctors...

One thing I loved about Mickey was her innocence. I could actually tell her forty year old jokes that she'd never heard. In her honor, I present the one that made her laugh the most:

There once was a woman of 80 years who attended the same church she was Christened in. One day she had to go to the hospital for a visit that lasted for about two weeks. During that time the pastor brought in some contractors to do some needed renovations. When the woman returned they were putting the finishing touches to the new sound system. The woman knelt at her usual pew, closed her eyes and began to pray.

One of the workers decided to have a little fun. So he turned on the microphone, added a little echo and whispered, "Thou woman, this is the Lord, your God."

The old woman didn't move. So he raised the volume and the echo a little. "I am the Lord." Still the old woman held her peace.

He raised the echo another notch. " I am..." and she cut him off.

"Now Lord, you hush up and mind your manners. I'm talking to your Mother!"

Goodbye old gal.

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