I wouldn't have know a scuppernong if one walked up and bit me on the leg--but now I am educated, thanks to puddle and Wikipedia. I have a vague recollection that native grapes did not grow so far north as Vinland, that being named after some other sort of fruit-bearing vine or shrub identified as grape by a shipmate of Leif Erikson's who had seem cultivated grapes in Germany. Maybe he was German; I don't recall.
I like the ice cream call idea! And the stresses kids put on us are Heaven's punishment for what we did to *our* parents. IMO.
Sorry if my elderberry riff made Susan long for a meteorite...
At a used bookstore run by Friends of the Oakland [California] Library, near the downtown courthouse, I found and purchased an interesting book:
"The Invention of Murder: How the Victorians revelled in death and detection an created modern crime." By Judith Flanders
One statistic so far has stuck in my mind: in the early 19th Century murder was almost unknown in the UK; the rate was 0.15 per 100,000 people. Then came 1811... The very primitive nature of policing and the courts in the early 19th Century is also very striking. And I'm just starting on the book, a bit at a time.
Actually, the native North American grape, Vitis labrusca (Concord, etc.) ,does grow as far north as Nova Scotia (Vinland). It's the European wine grape, Vitis vinifera, that does not.
"...the stresses kids put on us are Heaven's punishment for what we did to *our* parents. IMO."
I strongly disagree. I was a neglected child, moved to a new town every single year of my life (I am not exaggerating), often moving during the school year. My dad walked out on us on a regular basis and I seldom had the food and clothing I needed.
I broke a lot of bad cycles when I opted for home birth, baby lead weaning and home schooling. So what is causing the stresses I experience from my offspring? Care to elaborate on what you meant?
I hasten to add that I believe Heaven is kinder than giving us what we deserve. Bad Karma is not a Christian concept. I mean, did Jesus die because of bad karma?
A long time ago I saw a comment that said "When you have children you know how it feels to have your heart walking around outside your body". I think that's true. I know my mom fussed over me as if I were still 16 when I was in my 50's. I told my BFF sometimes the worry is so great I wish we were like cats, i.e., once your kids reach adulthood you see them and are like "And you are?"
My apologies, listener. It was meant as a half-joke, but not devoid of seriousness. I felt, and feel, that I had not shown much promise by the time my father passed away. Neither do I feel that I had adequately expressed my gratitude, but I wasn't mature enough to do that; few teenagers are. And I had misbehaved--not to an uncommon degree, but I still feel guilty about such things. And I ache inside, so much, when I think of it all. But my father never knew his father, despite attempts to find him, or at least to find out about him. So I am way ahead, even though I had not done as well as I felt I should, and despite the fact I had no opportunity to say good-bye. It's been more than fifty years, and I still miss him so much. I hope that I have lived my life in a way that he would by and large approve of. But I still feel inadequate. I'm close to weeping. Time to have a (modest) drink and find some diversion online.
That you miss him and wish you could have done and said more means much more than you may know. Yesterday was the 11th Anniversary of my Dad's death. Though the years soften many feelings, I still recall that when people began to offer their condolences by saying the usual "Sorry for your loss" I suddenly realised that I wasn't grieving the loss of my father; rather I was grieving in the stark reality that he had never really been a good dad, and now it was irrevocably too late for him to try.
I think I would prefer your dilemma. Don't be too hard on yourself.
As for my post, please don't worry...it just hit a nerve. We're fine. ♥
Alan, I first came across "Scuppernong" at about 14--“Pork, what of the corn whisky Pa buried in the oak barrel under the Scuppernong arbor?” Gone with the Wind.
But ordered some jelly from Amazon a few years ago: pure sunshine in a jar.
I was a preteen when my father died. No misbehavior to regret, but it wasn't until long after that I realized what an outstanding person he had been. I've always regretted not being mature enough to recognize and express that.
What a good thing to be able to say, Bill...! Children don't have that kind of perspective, as that takes experiences to lay it against. So, how good to see it can yet happen years later. That gives me pause regarding my grandchildren and how they may view me years after I have passed.
I wouldn't have know a scuppernong if one walked up and bit me on the leg--but now I am educated, thanks to puddle and Wikipedia. I have a vague recollection that native grapes did not grow so far north as Vinland, that being named after some other sort of fruit-bearing vine or shrub identified as grape by a shipmate of Leif Erikson's who had seem cultivated grapes in Germany. Maybe he was German; I don't recall.
ReplyDeleteI like the ice cream call idea! And the stresses kids put on us are Heaven's punishment for what we did to *our* parents. IMO.
Sorry if my elderberry riff made Susan long for a meteorite...
At a used bookstore run by Friends of the Oakland [California] Library, near the downtown courthouse, I found and purchased an interesting book:
"The Invention of Murder: How the Victorians revelled in death and detection an created modern crime." By Judith Flanders
One statistic so far has stuck in my mind: in the early 19th Century murder was almost unknown in the UK; the rate was 0.15 per 100,000 people. Then came 1811... The very primitive nature of policing and the courts in the early 19th Century is also very striking. And I'm just starting on the book, a bit at a time.
Alan
Actually, the native North American grape, Vitis labrusca (Concord, etc.) ,does grow as far north as Nova Scotia (Vinland). It's the European wine grape, Vitis vinifera, that does not.
Delete"...the stresses kids put on us are Heaven's punishment for what we did to *our* parents. IMO."
ReplyDeleteI strongly disagree. I was a neglected child, moved to a new town every single year of my life (I am not exaggerating), often moving during the school year. My dad walked out on us on a regular basis and I seldom had the food and clothing I needed.
I broke a lot of bad cycles when I opted for home birth, baby lead weaning and home schooling. So what is causing the stresses I experience from my offspring? Care to elaborate on what you meant?
I hasten to add that I believe Heaven is kinder than giving us what we deserve. Bad Karma is not a Christian concept. I mean, did Jesus die because of bad karma?
DeleteRecently, we saw a particular saying and belly laughed over it. It goes like this:
Delete"I've decided not to have kids.
The kids are taking it really hard."
LOL!
A long time ago I saw a comment that said "When you have children you know how it feels to have your heart walking around outside your body". I think that's true. I know my mom fussed over me as if I were still 16 when I was in my 50's. I told my BFF sometimes the worry is so great I wish we were like cats, i.e., once your kids reach adulthood you see them and are like "And you are?"
Delete:-D
DeleteA mother will worry about her child from the day the child is born until the day the child dies (and probably afterward too ;-) ).
My apologies, listener. It was meant as a half-joke, but not devoid of seriousness. I felt, and feel, that I had not shown much promise by the time my father passed away. Neither do I feel that I had adequately expressed my gratitude, but I wasn't mature enough to do that; few teenagers are. And I had misbehaved--not to an uncommon degree, but I still feel guilty about such things. And I ache inside, so much, when I think of it all. But my father never knew his father, despite attempts to find him, or at least to find out about him. So I am way ahead, even though I had not done as well as I felt I should, and despite the fact I had no opportunity to say good-bye. It's been more than fifty years, and I still miss him so much. I hope that I have lived my life in a way that he would by and large approve of. But I still feel inadequate. I'm close to weeping. Time to have a (modest) drink and find some diversion online.
DeleteAlan
{{{ {{ { Alan } }} }}}
DeleteThat you miss him and wish you could have done and said more means much more than you may know. Yesterday was the 11th Anniversary of my Dad's death. Though the years soften many feelings, I still recall that when people began to offer their condolences by saying the usual "Sorry for your loss" I suddenly realised that I wasn't grieving the loss of my father; rather I was grieving in the stark reality that he had never really been a good dad, and now it was irrevocably too late for him to try.
I think I would prefer your dilemma. Don't be too hard on yourself.
As for my post, please don't worry...it just hit a nerve. We're fine. ♥
Alan, I first came across "Scuppernong" at about 14--“Pork, what of the corn whisky Pa buried in the oak barrel under the Scuppernong arbor?” Gone with the Wind.
ReplyDeleteBut ordered some jelly from Amazon a few years ago: pure sunshine in a jar.
No jelly, but: this
ReplyDeleteAh!! The reason I didn't recognize the term "scuppernong" is that I've always called them "muscadines".
DeleteI was a preteen when my father died. No misbehavior to regret, but it wasn't until long after that I realized what an outstanding person he had been. I've always regretted not being mature enough to recognize and express that.
DeleteWhat a good thing to be able to say, Bill...! Children don't have that kind of perspective, as that takes experiences to lay it against. So, how good to see it can yet happen years later. That gives me pause regarding my grandchildren and how they may view me years after I have passed.
Delete