Got my "nap" ~~ around nine, lol! So this'll mess up my sleep pattern for days, ack!
Was glad to get upstairs though: my neighbor's kids are camping down by the river, and the Goobey is fascinated. And noisy. To say the least. The nap was an attempt at an enforced break.
This is looking to be the week from hell: the boy is totally fascinated by the campers at the river's edge, and *will* not let go of his vigilance. And barks at them to let them know he's in charge, and barks at me to let me know he's watching, and even when I bring him in, restlessly tries to get back out to see if they're still there, and if he should be barking.
Our entire routine is a mess. This particular neighbor is a come and go one. In his *here* incarnations, he's always a problem. One way or t'other. Not for nothing was the term "neer do well" invented. . . . But this is a new version. Hoping the kids only stay for a week, and not the whole of the warm season.
Over at the Achalasia board, been thinking about how much we contribute to/cause our own grief, above and beyond what's been "gifted" to us. Everyone there is in "trubble" (not everyone *has* Achalasia -- we also get members whose docs are having trubble diagnosing them, but they have features of Achalasia). The two "features" that I'm noticing just now are (1) a refusal to be comforted, and (2) an inability to be clear. The first is signaled by a "yes, BUT" response to absolutely everything that's said: e.g., boohoo, I can't eat solids. Response, here's some recipes for lovely soups. Response: it's summer, and I can't eat soups in the summer. Response: here's a recipe for a wonderful cold cucumber/shrimp soup. Response ~~ I don't *like* cucumbers. . . . The second, an absolute inability to give enough enough information for anyone to try to help; can't remember dates, procedures, names of diseases or conditions the docs have mentioned. This one's coupled by an inability to google, follow links, and a demand that *others* figure it out and tell them what to do.
Not Achalasia driven: I remember these types from my very first group therapy group. Denial of what is VERY clear to everyone in the room but themselves, and inability to even start on a path towards fixing anything. . . . Initially, I thought it was just stupidity, an absolute *inability,* intellectually, to figure things out. Later concluded that it's not that: more an unwillingness to try. Pictures of mules sitting on their butts come to mind. . . . And a real sadness that people, some people, *wish* to remain miserable rather than risk change. Even tiny changes.
It's too bad, but there are plenty of wooly-minded people, and the person who can't be happy without something to complain or worry about is a well-known type. I remember the spouse of one of my former coworkers who "joked" that if he didn't have anything else to worry about he would wake up in the middle of the night worrying about the ozone hole getting bigger...
Alas, you're right, Alan. One of the consequences for them, is that after a time, others just give up on them, try to keep them at the side, and get on with their lives. I imagine that the isolation is tremendous. Or perhaps, that's as they wish it? Who knows?
Our nuclear-family-style society has forgotten the importance of supported parenting and really being there for children, to teach them healthy ways to deal with their fears and concerns.
Had to get up an hour or two earlier than optimal today, to take a phone call. Now I'm in need of a nap today and may take it sooner rather than later.
Indeed. I 'spect with giant extended families near that most kids could find a mentor, even when the mesh with parents themselves wasn't too good. I had terrific parenting, but still there was an Aunt who took me under her wing. . . . A most beloved Aunt. When I outright thanked her in my pre-old-age, she laughed, and said she'd always felt just a bit guilty "trying to steal" me away from my mother (she had no daughters)(but noticed my mom was pretty busy with my six brothers. . . . ). At ten to fifteen, she was a true God-send. For me.
The kids came over to say howdy, and brought Chuck, an 18 month old part pit, with them. Puppies played, grownups talked. They're planning on staying through the warm season. Which means, I'm hoping, that the Goobey will stop thinking of them as a novelty to be watched. They're travelers, to say the least. She's a street musician. He catches fish. I 'spect they won't get old. (mid thirties now) Both have dreadlocks. And, they *are* nice. Just not where I'd wish anyone to be. Lent them a stainless steel bread bowl to cook beans in. Last year they caught and gifted me with a native trout. I'm going to try to be grateful that at least they're interesting. . . .
Newspaper speculates that yesterday may have been the warmest election day in history. The only warmer March days were on the 29th and 31st, and there has been no November day as warm. But that assumes the Illinois primary has always and forever been in February or March, and I wouldn't want to assume that without checking. It also ignores municipal elections in April, of course.
I ended up not voting, partially because I was busy with a bunch of e-mail messages on a list for science fiction convention runners and partially because I correctly assumed that most of the people I would want to vote for would win easily. The DFA candidate in I1-10 Congressional race lost, but that's not my district4. And, contrary to DFA claims, the winner does not seem to be a DINO. Maybe not as progressive as Ilya Sheyman, but his web site shows solid support for Democratic values. He's especially strong on labor issues.
My neighbor's kids went west for the winter. She said when she asked her MIL how the winter had been, she said "Scary." That was in response to me saying the winter had been Scarily warm. . . Beginning to feel like *omen* to me. . . .
I remember spending two hours in the airport at Karachi at two in the morning. It was easily over 120ยบ. And thinking that I wondered WHY the ancestors, trekking out of Africa, had stopped there and built a city. . . . And wonder if our great, many greats grandchildren will wonder why we didn't stop it. . . . .
I thought of you this afternoon when some neighbours over the way apparently had visitors and a young girl among them kept literally SCREAMING (like someone was murdering her) during the game they were playing. It was rather unsettling while I was attempting to do a bit of oil painting.
Whew! Been working at closet/wardrobe weeding. Some things are just too big to even think about altering. But some in the middle. . . . A couple of long dresses, I love the fabric, and am going to try for long skirts. Amazing though how many hangers I now have available.
Spent a good bit of the afternoon rehabbing a favorite denim jacket, that's just been hanging as a decoration for a decade, lol! Some serious scrubbing, and enzymes, and bleach, and it's nearly as good as new. The background beige is more like ivory now, and the flowers are paled out a bit, but still lovely. And I have stuff to wear with it now. Aside from his perfume, the only Ralph Lauren I've ever bought (though I have three linen shirts of Edwin's. . . ). I love his stuff, but as my sister would say, it's usually too spendy for me, and I admire and pass. This jacket, however, grabbed me by the throat, and never let go, lol! Luckily, I had a good job at the time, so at least I didn't have to shoplift it. . . .
Put ads in the newspaper. And signs on the road. But I just give my stuff to charity. I had ONE yard sale when I sold my house, and it broke my heart to see stuff I *wanted* and was expensive being carried away for zip. I wasn't nearly so unhappy about the stuff I gave away, either to friends or one of the pick up charities. Here there ARE no pickups ~~ you have to carry it sixty miles to give it away.
My brother (the next down from me) has five girls. When they were little, it was all I could do to stay for dinner. . . . And I was very grateful to have boys -- who don't shriek. . . .
Winnie and I both think there should be another dog around to play with. None of the other humans in the house agree.
The galling part is that Daughter insists that Winnie really "wants to be an only dog". I don't believe that to be the case. Also, she makes these claims about what's in Winnie's best interest, but is unwilling to help give Winnie the attention she says the dog needs. So, today, for example, I taught two classes, and came home with a killer back ache. Winnie REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted me to take her for a walk, and I couldn't. And apparently I am the only person in the house capable of walking her.
Don't know, Renee. Since you *are* the only one who does, taking on another one for whom you'll be the only one who does, seems daunting. It would be for me. Luck, love!
I'm also the one who gets ignored by the humans in the family, like 90 percent of the time. That would be on average. Demetrius, maybe not quite that much, daughter close to 99% of the time. I don't much enjoy living here these days.
And then there's the fact that I take on these mind-crushingly dull online scoring projects when they come up, because it helps the family. But in return, especially from Daughter, I only get the absolute minimum amount of attention that can be gotten away with. No one-on-one time. No mother-daughter go-somewhere-away-from-the-house time EVER. And it's been forever since we've actually followed through with plans to do something together away from the house as a family.
I've been the only person taking care of two dogs before--including all that time that caring for Brady was more like caring for a high-need patient than a pet. Somehow I didn't mind--probably because I actually felt like my efforts were genuinely appreciated...
Just so you knows: Howie's still foist!
ReplyDeleteGot my "nap" ~~ around nine, lol! So this'll mess up my sleep pattern for days, ack!
Was glad to get upstairs though: my neighbor's kids are camping down by the river, and the Goobey is fascinated. And noisy. To say the least. The nap was an attempt at an enforced break.
This is looking to be the week from hell: the boy is totally fascinated by the campers at the river's edge, and *will* not let go of his vigilance. And barks at them to let them know he's in charge, and barks at me to let me know he's watching, and even when I bring him in, restlessly tries to get back out to see if they're still there, and if he should be barking.
ReplyDeleteOur entire routine is a mess. This particular neighbor is a come and go one. In his *here* incarnations, he's always a problem. One way or t'other. Not for nothing was the term "neer do well" invented. . . . But this is a new version. Hoping the kids only stay for a week, and not the whole of the warm season.
Over at the Achalasia board, been thinking about how much we contribute to/cause our own grief, above and beyond what's been "gifted" to us. Everyone there is in "trubble" (not everyone *has* Achalasia -- we also get members whose docs are having trubble diagnosing them, but they have features of Achalasia). The two "features" that I'm noticing just now are (1) a refusal to be comforted, and (2) an inability to be clear. The first is signaled by a "yes, BUT" response to absolutely everything that's said: e.g., boohoo, I can't eat solids. Response, here's some recipes for lovely soups. Response: it's summer, and I can't eat soups in the summer. Response: here's a recipe for a wonderful cold cucumber/shrimp soup. Response ~~ I don't *like* cucumbers. . . . The second, an absolute inability to give enough enough information for anyone to try to help; can't remember dates, procedures, names of diseases or conditions the docs have mentioned. This one's coupled by an inability to google, follow links, and a demand that *others* figure it out and tell them what to do.
ReplyDeleteNot Achalasia driven: I remember these types from my very first group therapy group. Denial of what is VERY clear to everyone in the room but themselves, and inability to even start on a path towards fixing anything. . . . Initially, I thought it was just stupidity, an absolute *inability,* intellectually, to figure things out. Later concluded that it's not that: more an unwillingness to try. Pictures of mules sitting on their butts come to mind. . . . And a real sadness that people, some people, *wish* to remain miserable rather than risk change. Even tiny changes.
It's too bad, but there are plenty of wooly-minded people, and the person who can't be happy without something to complain or worry about is a well-known type. I remember the spouse of one of my former coworkers who "joked" that if he didn't have anything else to worry about he would wake up in the middle of the night worrying about the ozone hole getting bigger...
ReplyDeleteAlas, you're right, Alan. One of the consequences for them, is that after a time, others just give up on them, try to keep them at the side, and get on with their lives. I imagine that the isolation is tremendous. Or perhaps, that's as they wish it? Who knows?
ReplyDeleteOh bother!
ReplyDeleteThere are visits and then there are visitations!
Beau's tellin' it like it is. ;-)
Hoping that this will be a brief visitation. ♥ Keep us posted.
Our nuclear-family-style society has forgotten the importance of supported parenting and really being there for children, to teach them healthy ways to deal with their fears and concerns.
ReplyDeleteAn ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Had to get up an hour or two earlier than optimal today, to take a phone call.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm in need of a nap today and may take it sooner rather than later.
Indeed. I 'spect with giant extended families near that most kids could find a mentor, even when the mesh with parents themselves wasn't too good. I had terrific parenting, but still there was an Aunt who took me under her wing. . . . A most beloved Aunt. When I outright thanked her in my pre-old-age, she laughed, and said she'd always felt just a bit guilty "trying to steal" me away from my mother (she had no daughters)(but noticed my mom was pretty busy with my six brothers. . . . ). At ten to fifteen, she was a true God-send. For me.
ReplyDeleteThe kids came over to say howdy, and brought Chuck, an 18 month old part pit, with them. Puppies played, grownups talked. They're planning on staying through the warm season. Which means, I'm hoping, that the Goobey will stop thinking of them as a novelty to be watched. They're travelers, to say the least. She's a street musician. He catches fish. I 'spect they won't get old. (mid thirties now) Both have dreadlocks. And, they *are* nice. Just not where I'd wish anyone to be. Lent them a stainless steel bread bowl to cook beans in. Last year they caught and gifted me with a native trout. I'm going to try to be grateful that at least they're interesting. . . .
ReplyDeleteNewspaper speculates that yesterday may have been the warmest election day in history. The only warmer March days were on the 29th and 31st, and there has been no November day as warm. But that assumes the Illinois primary has always and forever been in February or March, and I wouldn't want to assume that without checking. It also ignores municipal elections in April, of course.
ReplyDeleteI ended up not voting, partially because I was busy with a bunch of e-mail messages on a list for science fiction convention runners and partially because I correctly assumed that most of the people I would want to vote for would win easily. The DFA candidate in I1-10 Congressional race lost, but that's not my district4. And, contrary to DFA claims, the winner does not seem to be a DINO. Maybe not as progressive as Ilya Sheyman, but his web site shows solid support for Democratic values. He's especially strong on labor issues.
My neighbor's kids went west for the winter. She said when she asked her MIL how the winter had been, she said "Scary." That was in response to me saying the winter had been Scarily warm. . . Beginning to feel like *omen* to me. . . .
ReplyDeleteI remember spending two hours in the airport at Karachi at two in the morning. It was easily over 120ยบ. And thinking that I wondered WHY the ancestors, trekking out of Africa, had stopped there and built a city. . . . And wonder if our great, many greats grandchildren will wonder why we didn't stop it. . . . .
Might as well.
ReplyDeleteI thought of you this afternoon when some neighbours over the way apparently had visitors and a young girl among them kept literally SCREAMING (like someone was murdering her) during the game they were playing. It was rather unsettling while I was attempting to do a bit of oil painting.
Whew! Been working at closet/wardrobe weeding. Some things are just too big to even think about altering. But some in the middle. . . . A couple of long dresses, I love the fabric, and am going to try for long skirts. Amazing though how many hangers I now have available.
ReplyDeleteSpent a good bit of the afternoon rehabbing a favorite denim jacket, that's just been hanging as a decoration for a decade, lol! Some serious scrubbing, and enzymes, and bleach, and it's nearly as good as new. The background beige is more like ivory now, and the flowers are paled out a bit, but still lovely. And I have stuff to wear with it now. Aside from his perfume, the only Ralph Lauren I've ever bought (though I have three linen shirts of Edwin's. . . ). I love his stuff, but as my sister would say, it's usually too spendy for me, and I admire and pass. This jacket, however, grabbed me by the throat, and never let go, lol! Luckily, I had a good job at the time, so at least I didn't have to shoplift it. . . .
So glad you saved the jeans jacket!
ReplyDeleteMust be time for another Dean Blogger Bash somewhere! :-)
:-) How do folks so far out in the country have yard sales?
Do you take your wares to the Farmer's Market?
Put ads in the newspaper. And signs on the road. But I just give my stuff to charity. I had ONE yard sale when I sold my house, and it broke my heart to see stuff I *wanted* and was expensive being carried away for zip. I wasn't nearly so unhappy about the stuff I gave away, either to friends or one of the pick up charities. Here there ARE no pickups ~~ you have to carry it sixty miles to give it away.
ReplyDeleteMy brother (the next down from me) has five girls. When they were little, it was all I could do to stay for dinner. . . . And I was very grateful to have boys -- who don't shriek. . . .
ReplyDeletelistener, did you get your nap?
ReplyDeleteWinnie and I both think there should be another dog around to play with. None of the other humans in the house agree.
ReplyDeleteThe galling part is that Daughter insists that Winnie really "wants to be an only dog". I don't believe that to be the case. Also, she makes these claims about what's in Winnie's best interest, but is unwilling to help give Winnie the attention she says the dog needs. So, today, for example, I taught two classes, and came home with a killer back ache. Winnie REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted me to take her for a walk, and I couldn't. And apparently I am the only person in the house capable of walking her.
Don't know, Renee. Since you *are* the only one who does, taking on another one for whom you'll be the only one who does, seems daunting. It would be for me. Luck, love!
ReplyDeleteI'm also the one who gets ignored by the humans in the family, like 90 percent of the time. That would be on average. Demetrius, maybe not quite that much, daughter close to 99% of the time. I don't much enjoy living here these days.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there's the fact that I take on these mind-crushingly dull online scoring projects when they come up, because it helps the family. But in return, especially from Daughter, I only get the absolute minimum amount of attention that can be gotten away with. No one-on-one time. No mother-daughter go-somewhere-away-from-the-house time EVER. And it's been forever since we've actually followed through with plans to do something together away from the house as a family.
I've been the only person taking care of two dogs before--including all that time that caring for Brady was more like caring for a high-need patient than a pet. Somehow I didn't mind--probably because I actually felt like my efforts were genuinely appreciated...