Alphabet book gets it right
Son was really into the alphabet for a time when he was little. He especially liked the letter X, but unlike Elon Musk he didn't remain obsessed with it until adulthood. Anyway, when we went to the library he would head for the alphabet books and inspect them to see if they used a legitimate X word, or if they did something lame and had X be for X-tra or X-citing. So, I thought of him when I was reading The Bookstore Cat with a child at Reading Buddies. Here is that alphabet book's X page. This author definitely didn't phone it in for the letter X.
36 Days until the Midterms!
If the bird turns around it could be Xenops chasing cat.
ReplyDeleteGo Xenops!
DeleteNotes on the last thread!
ReplyDeleteWaving hello. Demetrius was in Japan for a week visiting Daughter. Yes, it's weird that he went and I didn't. No, I don't especially want to talk about that part. But my husband did a good job communicating with me throughout the week, in spite of the time difference. Most days we did a quick Zoom call together. But the whole thing messed up my ability to sleep for more than an hour or two at a time, so I've constantly been tired. I didn't really go anywhere that whole week, except a quick trip to the store and a couple of curbside pickups I did with Archer in the car. My self care has included mostly not keeping up with the news, so I wasn't going to post about that, and I wasn't going publicly post that Demetrius was out of the country. Anyway, I'm back now, kind of. Still taking a bit of a break from the news, though.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely right not to broadcast that D was abroad. I hope you can get your sleep cycle back to normal. To that end, I highly recommend staying as far away from the news as possible.
DeleteIf you are following the news, you know to what this is a response.
ReplyDeleteIf you aren't following the news, this still makes a lot of common sense...
posted by Amanda Goodman:
Don't wear that.
That shirt is too low.
That skirt is too short.
You're going to distract the boys.
Don't wear too much makeup.
Don't wear that lipstick.
Don't toss your hair like that.
Don't flirt.
Don't be too friendly.
But don't be rude.
Don't walk alone.
Don't go to the bathroom alone.
Don't leave your drink unattended.
Actually, don't take a drink from anyone.
Watch the bartender make it.
Text me when you get there.
Text me when you leave.
Share your location.
Park under a light.
Have your keys ready before you get to the car.
Check the backseat.
Don't wear headphones when you're walking.
Don't take the shortcut.
Don't get in the elevator if something feels off.
Don't smile at the wrong person.
Don't make eye contact for too long.
But don't ignore him either because that might make him angry.
Don't be too nice because he might think you're interested.
Don't be too cold because you don't know how he'll react.
Don't accept the ride.
Don't go upstairs.
Don't go somewhere alone with him.
Don't let your friends leave without you.
Like DAMN!
And then we wonder why girls grow up feeling like their safety is a full-time job. These are ALL things I was told growing up. These are all things I tell my daughters.
We've taught our daughters that their safety is a full-time job.
And yes, we absolutely talk to our boys about safety, too. We should. Boys can be victims. Boys can be vulnerable. Boys need to know how to protect themselves and ask for help.
But there is a conversation we need to have about the sheer NUMBER of rules we hand girls.
Because somewhere along the way, we became really damn good at teaching girls how not to become victims.
Maybe we need to become just as relentless about teaching boys not to create them. So allow me to flip the script...
Don't pressure her.
Don't follow her.
Don't corner her.
Don't keep asking after she says no.
Don't mistake kindness for interest.
Don't assume what she's wearing is an invitation.
Don't touch her because you think she's flirting.
Don't pass around her picture.
Don't send her picture to the group chat.
Don't make sexual comments about her body.
Don't laugh when your friends do.
Don't let your buddy take the drunk girl upstairs.
Don't be the friend who sees something wrong and decides it's none of his business.
If she changes her mind, she changed her mind.
If she's uncomfortable, back up.
If she says no, the conversation is over.
If your friend is crossing a line, SAY SOMETHING.
And maybe instead of telling a girl, "That shirt is distracting the boys," we start telling boys: "She's sitting in algebra...figure it out."
Because our daughters should absolutely know how to protect themselves.
But our sons should also grow up understanding that girls are not responsible for managing boys' thoughts, impulses, reactions or behavior.
Girls deserve more than a lifetime of instructions about how to make themselves less noticeable, less vulnerable, less tempting, less trusting, less friendly, less free.
Teach her to be smart, to trust her gut and that she can call you at 2 a.m. and you will come get her, no questions asked.
And then?
Put just as much damn energy into raising boys who make the world safer for her to walk through.
Because "be careful" cannot be the lesson we give our daughters while "have fun" is the only one we give our sons.
I'm proud to say that Wil and I educated our four sons to be kind and gentle menfolk. A lot of that was by Wil's example, and some of it was that we home schooled so they never had the peer pressure to be that other kind of guy. When they got to college they could certainly discern what's what.
Delete100%. Susan
Deletenordy...are you here tonight?
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if you saw and responded to my earlier query ... do you have a Facebook account?
I ask because, if needed at some point, we could start a secret Facebook group. (Meaning no one can see the group but us.)