Planets Strike Over Pluto Demotion

Solar System News Service
Staff writer

The eight remaining members of the Planet Union have walked off the job to protest the demotion of Pluto from the status of "planet" to that of "minor planet/icy dwarf."

"We'll stay here [on the picket line] till management reinstates him," the union's spokesbeing, Venus, told SSNS. "I mean, it's a question of solidarity and of self-protection. If they can do that to Pluto, then Mercury's going to be next, and then…Well. It doesn't bear thinking of!"

Official word of the demotion came in last night, though rumors and suspicions had been circulating for some time.

"They didn't even have the decency to notify him personally," an irate Venus explained. "He had to read it in the press. Now, I ask you, is that insensitivity, or is that insensitivity? The poor fellow's a wreck, and understandably so. He's in seclusion now with his family."

The Amalgamated Satellites, Asteroids and Comets Union, which also represents Kuyper Belt and Oort Cloud objects, supports the planets' strike 100 percent.

"We're with them all the way, of course," confirmed the Amalgamated Asteroids' Spokesbeing, Ketzalkoatl. "We have our admission rules, and they have theirs. And, Pluto very clearly falls within their eligibility guidelines."

Ketzalkoatl continued. "Management has no business decreeing this sort of stuff. I mean, we'e talking identity, here, culture and heritage. We're all related, sure. But, planets are a separate group. They're sort of, well, special."

He concluded, "You can't legislate who somebody is."

Management has not issued a response to the strike. But, unconfirmed rumors of internal descent over the ruling have reached this reporter. If these rumors are true, then it will be difficult for management to present a unified front in the face of the strikers' unanimity, determination and their single, categorical demand.

Picketing has already begun, with some of the picketers carrying homemade signs. The slogans this reporter has seen include Bring Pluto Home, We Want Pluto Back, and Pluto: Once and Future Planet.

Meanwhile, Pluto himself has been unavailable for comment. In a brief statement Charon, largest of Pluto's satellites, said only that the honorary chair of the Kuyper Belt Benevolent Society was taking some private time to rest and reassess. He added that Orca, Secretary-Treasurer of the KBBS would shortly issue a statement on behalf of the Society addressing the matter.

--

All SSNS material is protected by galactic copyright law, in accordance with the Alpha Centauri Convention.

This material may be distributed and transmitted only in full and with proper attribution to SSNS.

Light Speed delays apply. For this reason, correspondence with the main office on individual items is discouraged. For editorial matters, address your regional bureau.

Received, transcribed and transmitted by Kerry Elizabeth Thompson, Inner System Bureau.

Alt Comment Link